"WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN…..?

A Consultation/Training Workshop Based on Participant Needs

OVERVIEW: This workshop  is entirely built from the participants curiosity, questions, urgencies, dilemmas, concerns, crises, and challenges.  Material from any of the trainings that, Ronald Mah, M.A., Licensed Marriage Family Therapist, credentialed elementary and high school teacher, ECE instructor, and consultant may be presented in the framework of responding to direct questions from participants.  Topics may include (but are not limited to) questions that draw from the many subjects of the workshops the presenter has conducted from 1991 to parents, foster parents, adoptive parents, Early Childhood Education, Kindergarten, elementary, middle and high school teachers and administrators from private, public, religious schools, therapists, social workers, vocational and other human services professionals.   Potential foci include material from workshops such as: 

"OUT OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE"- DISCIPLINE FROM THE INSIDE OUT

FORMAT:

Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions.

DESCRIPTION:

Focus is on understanding and addressing the underlying emotional and psychological issues that arise in children & adults in discipline situations; and how adults use their understanding of their own feelings and needs (& insecurities) to more effectively and appropriately discipline children.  Participants will learn how to make accurate diagnoses of the discipline situation so they may be able to effectively apply the discipline techniques discussed.

SUMMARY OF CONTENT:

1) The WHY's of Discipline: Socialization, Sanity, & Security

            The underlying emotional and psychological needs of the child; societal, community, and family needs; and parental needs.

2) Communication- Overt & covert, Surface messages & metamessages

            How children are damaged by frustrated and unaware adults.

3) Diagnosing the Discipline Situation- A Hierarchy of Discipline

            A step by step approach to dealing with discipline- from the simple to the complicated.

4) The Responsibility and the Vulnerability of the Discipliner

            How the adult gets frustrated, diverted, and overwhelmed in the situation; how the adult can reduce his/her vulnerability and discipline more responsibly.

5) Temperamental Differences & Learning Style Differences

            Normal differences in children and how they affect interaction and discipline.

6) Family systems theory

            How the family affects the child and his/her responses to the family dynamics.

7) Is your child after you?

            How to recognize control and power issues in adult-child interactions; how to avoid getting into power struggles with children.  

"IT'S A ZOO IN HERE!" 

PRINCIPLES OF CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT

FORMAT:

Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions.

DESCRIPTION:

Focus is on making an academic but pragmatic distinction between effective management (interventions that prevent from problems arising) and discipline (interventions that address problem solving).  By recognizing the underlying emotional and psychological issues that arise in children & adults prior to and in discipline situations, adults can use effective techniques to properly manage potential discipline situations and crises before they erupt and/or as they erupt.  Participants will learn how to make accurate diagnoses of themselves as the discipliner, of the child, and of the discipline situation so that they may be able to effectively apply the management/discipline techniques discussed.

SUMMARY OF CONTENT:

1. WHY MANAGEMENT & DISCIPLINE

            HOW COME- for the kids; Socialization- PLUS & MINUS; Deviants & the Inept

2. THE MANAGER-   How You Affect the Discipline

3. THE CHILD

            From the kid's perspective- the experiential perspective

            Attention is different from Validation

4. THE DISCIPLINE OF DISCIPLINE

            A HIERARCHY OF DISCIPLINE

5. COMMUNICATION

            Surface messages & metamessages; Affirmative vs. Negative messages

            The Question that Destroys Children

6. PITFALLS

            Power struggles

            Blame and Responsibility- A Vital Distinction

            Conditional Positive Regard vs. Unconditional Positive Regard

            Demands and Expectations

7. THE MANAGER, part II

            Foolish, Average, or Wise

            Practical matters

            On being effective

"WHAT IS WITH THIS KID!?"  UNDERSTANDING TEMPERAMENT

FOR MORE EFFECTIVE MANAGEMENT AND DISCIPLINE

dvd of this workshop available at www.FixedEarthFilms.com

FORMAT:

Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions.

DESCRIPTION:

As participants understand temperament, many of the negative judgments and fears about their children's behavior can be set aside.  Participants will learn nine temperamental traits and how to make a temperamental evaluations of children and of themselves.  How to use the temperamental evaluation to create constructive experiences with the child; to minimize difficulties; and to empower the adult with logical and effective strategies for interactions.  How to diagnose learning styles of children; and how to diagnose adult's teaching/parenting styles.

SUMMARY OF CONTENT:

1) "I got this wild kid!  What the heck is going on? (What the heck is wrong?)"

            Recognizing what active, disruptive, and wild behavior is in the range of normal children's behavior; and what is not.

2) Assumptions and implications with various diagnoses.

            Each diagnosis (from physical fatigue to temperament to pathology to moral weakness) of the reasons for a child's behavior carries assumptions and implications that have impact on how adults see the child.

3) PATHOLOGY- What is "Hyperactivity?"

            A DIAGNOSTIC ORDER FOR APPROACHING "Hyper" ACTIVITY

4) Nine Temperamental Traits and how to use them to make Temperamental Evaluations.

5) "Goodness of Fit" between adult and child (theory and exercise)

            How to use the theory to regain adult authority and better help the child make appropriate adaptations and compensations.

6) Learning Styles & Teaching-Living Styles

              Visual

              Auditory

              Motor-Kinesthetic

7) Match and Mismatch

8) Tell, Show, Do  

THE ONE MINUTE TEMPER TANTRUM SOLUTION

 dvd of this workshop available at www.FixedEarthFilms.com

FORMAT:

Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions.

DESCRIPTION:

Focus is on using participants awareness of their own emotional and psychological needs to create understanding of the child's emotional and psychological needs when he or she is in a tantrum state.  This knowledge is then translated into practical technique that the participants can use to effectively prevent and resolve children's temper tantrums. 

SUMMARY OF CONTENT:

1) Child & adult correlation of needs

            An understanding of basic human needs illustrates the logic behind tantrums.      

2) Folk remedies for tantrums

            Why "ignoring" is often absolutely the wrong thing to do; how and why "ignoring the tantrum" intensifies the tantrum.

3) Types of Tantrums: Manipulative, Temperamental, & Helpless Tantrums

4) Prevention - Tantrum Ignitors

            What causes or what is behind the tantrum?

            A Diagnostic Order

            Prevention of Manipulative tantrums

             Conditional tantrums

             Physical Environmental tantrums

             Social Environmental tantrums

5A) Prevention  of Temperamental Tantrums

5B) Response to Temperamental Tantrums- Dealing w/ a raging tantrum.

            Psycho/emotional diagnosis/evaluation

            Psycho/emotional connection/validation

                Making the touch, show, tone, verbal connections.

            The Socialization Message- why it works and when it works.

6) Prevention of & Response to Helpless Tantrums

7) Preventing Self-Sabotage     

            Learning how to foster the emotional and psychological awareness that enables the adult to follow through with the technique.

"WHEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE"

INTRODUCING THE FOSTER CHILD INTO THE FAMILY SYSTEM,

FORMAT:

Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions.

DESCRIPTION:

Focus is on creating practical understanding of the biological child's and family's emotional and psychological needs when a foster child is introduced to into the family system.   Theories of diagnosis, family systems, cognitive development, and moral development are combined to create understanding and to lead to practical strategies resolving the potential disruptions of becoming a foster family.

SUMMARY OF CONTENT:

1) Understanding the Behavior of Children -

    Both Foster and Biological Children

2) Introducing the Foster Child into the Biological Family Systems: Effects

3) Rescuing the Family System - Becoming the Identified Patient

4) Effects on Individual Members in the Family System: The Parents

5) Effects on Individual Members in the Family System: The Children

6) Moral Commitment by Developmentally Different Children to Foster Care  

CONFLICT RESOLUTION W/ YOUNG CHILDREN

including Issues Around Victims, Abusers/Bullies, & Survivors

dvd of this workshop available at www.FixedEarthFilms.com

OVERVIEW: This workshop makes the connections between social and communication skills and conflict issues between children.  The role of aggression, violence, and self-esteem as they develop in children.  The developmental processes of the victim, abuser/bully, and survivor are discussed with reference to parenting styles, both positive and problematic.  Methods are presented to build self-esteem in children and to protect them from becoming abusers/bullies and/or victims.  Basic rules of communication and interaction are presented that facilitate positive conflict resolution skills and greater personal power and control/self-esteem.

SETTING BOUNDARIES

WHEN IT’S NECESSARY, HOW IT WORKS, CREATING THE CONTAINER

OVERVIEW: This workshop examines when boundaries are necessary in children’s lives and how they are effective…and when they are ineffective.  The limitations to boundary setting for growth and change.  Boundary setting as the foundation for the growth and change process.  Implicit and explicit messages given in boundary setting that affirm or compromise effectiveness.  In addition, the internal boundary distinctions adults need to understand in order to discipline appropriately.  Developmental principles and adjustments to boundary setting from preschool to adolescence will also be examined.

1.        INTERVENTIONS—  The Relationship of “The Hammer” to Assessment and Theory

2.        TIMEOUT THEORY—FOUR THEORIES OF TIMEOUT Three Problematic Theories and One Socially Sound Theory

3.        PERMISSION FOR IRRESPONSIBILITY Socialization—Individual and Community Concerns

4.        POSITIVE & NEGATIVE CHOICES and POSITIVE & NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES

5.        TRUE CHOICE  & LEARNING CONSEQUENCES

6.        MESSAGES FROM BOUNDARIES- Distinctions Between Blame, Shame, Fault, Guilt, and Responsibility

7.        COMMUNICATION BOUNDARIES AND ISSUES— “Fighting about the Garbage”

                Verbal & Non-Verbal Communication - Overt & Covert Communication

                Direct & Indirect Communication

8.        LIMITS DERIVED FROM YOUR LEVEL OF FRUSTRATION

9.        BOUNDARIES FROM SYMBOLISM FROM CULTURAL HERITAGE (including Family of Origin Issues)

10.     BOUNDARIES AS EXCLUSION & DANGER vs. THE CONTAINER OF SAFETY

11.     CONTEXT FOR BOUNDARIES-   Time, “Now” & “Not Now,” Transitions

                Developmental Differences & Distinctions

12.     CLARIFYING THE ADULT ROLE

13.     BOUNDARIES AND OPPORTUNITIES—“I Hate You!!”

“THE LAST COOKIE”

SPECIAL NEEDS & SPECIAL CHALLENGES 

STUDENT DIVERSITY (NON-ETHNIC) IN THE CLASSROOM

dvd of this workshop available at www.FixedEarthFilms.com

FORMAT:

Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions.

DESCRIPTION:

Meeting the needs of at-risk, special needs (w/ physical disabilities, learning disabilities, and other challenges), foster, and adoptive children as well as the effects of family constellation, divorce, blended families, and same sex parents is another challenge of diversity and multiculturalism in the classroom.  The training is uses two theoretical orientations to help staff address the myriad issues that arise among children with diverse (and multiple challenges) that do not fit easily into mainstream classroom perspectives and expectations.  Over and above a “how-to” training, this training seeks to help build a sound diagnostic understanding of the challenges faced by children with varying issues.  With a sound theoretical orientation, staff can more successfully make appropriate interventions with children.

SUMMARY OF CONTENT:

Distinctions between Diversity and Multi-culturalism

Survival as the basis of Culture

The Culture of Survival of Special Needs Children, of Children from Dysfunctional Families, of Abused Children, and so forth.

Diagnostic Order for Evaluating Problematic Behavior and Issues with Specific Applications to the Different or Diversely Challenged Children (for example, particular Developmental issues affecting Abused Children, particular Situational issues affecting Children w/ Learning Disabilities, particular Systemic/Environmental issues affecting Children in Blended Families, and so forth.

Developmental  -  Situational

Physical  -  Emotional Disruption

Temperamental - Systemic/Environmental

Pathological  -  Moral

Family Systems Theories Applicable to Understanding Children’s Behavior in the Classroom.