by Ronald Mah

Corwin Press, 2006

by Ronald Mah

Corwin Press, 2008

Calligraphy for "Learning" in

Handouts

(Mini-Posters)

DVDs

by Ronald Mah

on Children's Behavior,

Discipline, and Child

Development at

Articles

for Parents, Teachers, Educators, and Human Services Professionals

Consulting,

Parent Education,

& Staff Development Workshops

& Trainings

Professional

Development

Workshops, Articles, & Consultation,

for Therapists

"BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER...

SO STOP TRYING TO SPILL YOUR BROTHER'S & SISTER'S!"

  UNDERSTANDING & DEALING WITH SIBLING RIVALRY

FORMAT:

Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions.

DESCRIPTION:

The presentation brings together self-esteem theory, tantrum principles, developmental theory, family systems therapy principles, and communication skills as they apply to sibling relationships and rivalry.  The presentation uses a family to illustrate how and why sibling rivalries develop due to birth order, temperament, parenting styles, and the family life cycle.  Self-esteem among siblings is presented as a primary cause and cure for sibling rivalries.  This theoretical knowledge is presented with practical techniques for prevention, mitigation, and resolution of sibling rivalries, including the "Working It Out Plan"- a practical guide to resolving conflict between siblings.

SUMMARY OF CONTENT:

1) Underlying Issues in the Development of Sibling Rivalry

2) Four Criteria for Self-Esteem and How It Affects Sibling Relationships

3) Tantrum Theory as It Relates to Siblings

4) Developmental Issues with Different Age Children

            Piaget and Erickson

            Adolescent Egocentrism & Sibling Rivalry

5) Family Systems: Roles & Structural Principles Affecting Relationships

6) Temperamental Differences & Issues Affecting Families & Siblings

7) Victim/Bully Theory

8) Principles of Discipline with Siblings

9) Step Family and Blended Family Considerations

            Cinderella- Fact or Fantasy?

            From Fantasy (The Brady Bunch) to Reality

            Recommended Approaches to Step-parenting

10) The Working It Out Plan-

"1 + 1 = 2 MUCH!?"

A GUIDE TO HEALTHY COUPLES RELATIONSHIPS

FORMAT:

Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions.

DESCRIPTION:

The presentation brings together family life cycle theory, family systems theory, couples therapy principles, and communication skills as they apply to an healthy couples relationships.  The presentation focuses on how a couple may develop (devolve) into negative patterns of relationship due to ignorance about temperamental differences, parenting demands, values confusion or differences, and poor communication skills.  This theoretical knowledge is presented with practical techniques for keeping and/or restoring healthy relationships for couples, including the "Working It Out Plan"- a practical guide to healthy conflict resolution.

SUMMARY OF CONTENT:

1) GOALS FOR IMPROVING COUPLES RELATIONSHIPS

2) STAGES OF COUPLES RELATIONSHIP DEVOLUTION

     COMMENTING, COMPLAINING, CRITICIZING- Crossing the Danger Line

     CONTEMPT, DEFENSIVENESS- Deep in Danger

     EMOTIONAL DISCONNECTION, DIVORCE- Endings

3) A DIAGNOSTIC ORDER FOR UNDERSTANDING BEHAVIOR-

     Including Family Life Cycle Issues (Parents- Yes, Couple- We Forgot!)

4) PRINCIPLES OF FAMILY SYSTEMS THEORY APPLIED TO COUPLES

     Family of Origin Dynamics Affecting the Current Relationship

5) HOW TEMPERAMENTAL DIFFERENCES AFFECT RELATIONSHIPS

     Nine Key Traits- Match & Mismatch

6) ATTACK AND DEFENSIVENESS

     Defensiveness & Loss vs. Validating Communication

7) "DON'T TAKE YOUR TURN!"

      How To Break Negative Communication Cycles

8) THE FOUR HONORINGS OF COMMUNICATION

       Dealing with Fear or Discomfort that Compromises Honest Expression

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY...I DON'T KNOW WANT THEY WANT"

Parenting & Communication With Adolescents

FORMAT:

Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions.

DESCRIPTION:

Focus is on understanding dynamic issues in the parent-teen relationship: the intrapersonal, the interpersonal, developmental, and the system issues that can lead to conflict or cohesiveness between parent and teen.  Addressed are the teen's emotional, psychological, social, and cultural needs as part of both the family community and of their adolescent community.  Cultural failure and Family Values are examined as they fit and misfit the needs of teens.  Effective and ineffective Parenting Styles and Communication are discussed. 

SUMMARY OF CONTENT:

1) "FULFILLING OR FAILING?" 

            Identifying the Needs and Issues of Adolescence

            How "Family Values" Fail Our Teens

            Society - Adult Society - Teen Society

             Traditional Culture - Adult Culture - Teen Culture

2) "YOU MEAN S/HE IS SUPPOSED TO ACT LIKE THIS!?"

            Teenager- The Developmental Stage of Adolescence

            Adolescent Egocentrism

3) "IT WAS SO DIFFERENT WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE!"

            Family Dynamics With Teens in the House

4) "SO WHAT DO I DO?"

            Authoritative vs. Authoritarian vs. Permissive Parenting

            The Principle of Scaffolding

            From Regulation to Co-regulation to Self-regulation

5) TAKING TURNS, SKIPPING TURNS, NOT TAKING YOUR TURN

            When Attitude Begats Attitude...

             that Instigates Attitude that Incites Attitude......

            Principles of Strategic Family Therapy

6) The Bottom Line

            As Aretha Franklin sings it, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T"

"ONE FAMILY - MANY CULTURES"

FAMILIES IN CROSS-GENERATIONAL CONFLICT

FORMAT:

Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions.

DESCRIPTION:

Focus is on helping participants learn the role of culture in their families.  Seeing families as inherently multi-cultural helps break the pattern of empathetic and communication failure between parents and children.  Examination of the development of different cultural values, patterns, and behavior in response to different social demands for adults versus children in middle childhood, pre-adolescence, and adolescence.   Participants will learn how cultural diversity is appropriate and logical in response to needs, i.e. that family members are never "just" different or defiant.  Individual, family of origin, and cohort experiences are considered to help participants become aware of their own attitudes with regard to values, including "family values".

SUMMARY OF CONTENT:

1) THE SURVIVAL PERSPECTIVE OF CULTURE AND VALUES

            Culture in Society- Economic & Political Considerations

            Workplace Culture- Values of the Work Community

2) CULTURE IN FAMILIES & ADULT CULTURE-

     The Family Society & the Adult Society

            "FAMILY VALUES"- Origins: Mainstream and Immigrant Social Principles

            "When the Heat is ON!", Family Culture Response to Stress

3) CULTURE IN SCHOOL- The School Society & Values, An Historical Perspective

4) CULTURE IN THE OUTER WORLD- Children's Societies

5) ADULTS & CHILDREN CONFLICT AS CROSS-CULTURAL CONFLICT

"DESPERATE IN THE SANCTUARY-PRISON OF ADOLESCENCE"

Keys to Successful Interactions With Adolescents

FORMAT:

Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions.

DESCRIPTION:

The focus of this training is on applying underlying developmental & cross-cultural issues to impact psychological, interpersonal, & family dynamics in teaching, conducting therapy, working with, and/or communicating with adolescents, especially abuse victims.  Social and cultural issues that apply to the teen lifestyle and expectations are examined and compared to adult and mainstream lifestyles and expectations.  Aspects of four family systems therapies as applied to teens will be discussed.  Participants will learn how to effectively apply the intervention and communication principles discussed.

SUMMARY OF CONTENT:

1)         "Family Values" Failing Teens

            Traditional Culture - Adult Culture - Teen Culture

            The SANCTUARY - PRISON of Adolescence

2)         Teenager- The Developmental Stage of Adolescence

            Adolescent Egocentrism

3)         Why Adolescents Don't (Can't) Invest

4)         Child, Teen, Adult- Coming of Age Rituals & Improvision

            Adolescent Transition Rituals

5)         Authoritative vs. Authoritarian vs. Permissive Parenting

            The Principle of Scaffolding

            From Regulation to Co-regulation to Self-regulation

6)         When Attitude Begats Attitude...

            Taking Your Turn "Wrong!"

7)         The Four Honorings of Communication Applied to Adult-Teen Talk

8)         Adult Gifts to Adolescents: Anger!?, Distrust!?, Abandonment!?

9)         Who's the Sanest?  Differentiation or Not?

FATHERHOOD FOR THE NEW MILLENNIUM

"Father" or "Dad”- What’s the Difference?

FORMAT:

Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions and actively participating.

DESCRIPTION:

Society is changing.  It takes a village to raise a child.  But the village has changed as well.  The families that used to make up the village have also changed.  In some ways, fathers are more important than ever in the family.  Due to economic and social changes, the roles of the mother and of the father (of the female and male authority figures) are changing from year to year.  The roles for grandparents, uncles and aunts, and other members of the extended family have also changed.  What does it mean to be a man?  What does it mean to be a father? to be a dad?

SUMMARY OF CONTENT:

Changes in the Family -- Traditional Models:

            The Multigenerational Extended Family

            The Nuclear Family

            The Patriarchal Family and the Matriarchal Family

            Roles of Mothers, of Fathers, of Daughters, a Sons, of Seniors

Modern Families:

            Immigrant Families

            Split Families

            Single Parent Families

            Fatherless Families

            The Role of Human and Social Services for Modern Families

Traditional Culture for Traditional Society --

            Modern Culture for Modern Society --

                        New Culture for the New Society --

What Does Your Family Need?

What Does Your Partner Need?

What is the Difference between a "Father" and a "Dad?"

What Do Your Boys Need?

Experiential Activities: PSYCHOSOCIAL and CULTURAL ISSUES

for Preadolescents and Adolescents

FORMAT:

Lecture and Discussion- Participants are encouraged to make the workshop more relevant to their concerns by asking questions and actively participating.

DESCRIPTION:

Teachers who work with young people (primarily preadolescents and adolescents) who wish to help students examine introspectively and in a group process, the "deeper" or "hotter" issues of the students' emotional, social, cultural, economic, historical, and political worlds are often frustrated because of the resistance encountered.  The presentation will begin with the presentation of "The Four Underlying Principles to Group Process."  How each of these principles contribute to a positive and stimulating group process will be discussed.  Then, each of these principles will be examined as to the developmental and/or cultural appropriateness or inappropriateness for the preadolescent and adolescent students (these principles are often difficult for young people to possess, and for individuals from certain cultures).  The presentation will continue with how to address the developmental and cultural challenges to group process with young people.  Developmentally and culturally appropriate alternate approaches and principles will be presented and applied to the group process.

            The presentation will follow with examples of successful alternative approaches to facilitating the group process with young people: a successful program utilizing movie video excerpts with high school students and experiential series of activities conducted with middle school children. To conclude, successful activities presented by participants will be assessed for the underlying principles that led to positive results

SUMMARY OF CONTENT:

1) The Four Underlying Principles to Group Process

2) Developmental and Cultural Mismatch for PreAdolescents and Adolescents and the Introspective and Group Process

3) Developmentally and Culturally Approaches to Introspection and Group Process for PreAdolescents and Adolescents

4) Video Excerpts for Experiential Activities- High School Examples: - friendship/loyalty/games, family obligations, violence, and sexuality.

5) Middle School Experiential Activity Examples: Topics presented include cliques, entering into a new cultural situation, verbal and nonverbal communication, gender roles, friendship morality, and sexual harassment

6) Participants successful activities assessed for underlying success principles- Confirmation, extension, and challenge to presented principles

YOUR TURN NOW- TAKING CARE OF MOM & DAD

                                DEVELOPMENTAL PRINCIPLES OF ELDER CARE

OVERVIEW:  The focus of this workshop is on understanding the emotional and psychological challenges of elder care on all members of the family: the elder, the biological adult child, the daughter or son-in-law, and the kids; and on the family dynamics.  Developmental and life cycle theory is made real, understandable, and applicable to life as a three-generation family.

1. DEVELOPMENT REVERSED AND TURNED UPSIDE DOWN

2. LOSS AFTER LOSS- PHYSICAL AND COGNITIVE ISSUES FOR ELDERS         

3. EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES FOR ELDERS

4. EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES FOR ADULT CHILDREN PARENTING THEIR PARENTS

5. EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES FOR CHILDREN WHEN GRANDMA OR GRANDPA LIVE IN THE HOME

6. STRESS ON THE FAMILY SYSTEM