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(a) to stop and not react;(b) think through a reactive answer that we know would escalate the interchange; and(c) substitute for the original reactive answer a different and positive response that will not hook up negatively the original producer of the initial stimulus.
Paradoxical interventions combined with psycho-education,Identify patterns, feelings of desperation,Plan for the next incident (because there will be a next incident… and another… and another,Teach how to express pain and loss without attacking,Take away the right to abuse if hurt (self-righteousness).