1) the FEELINGS of the person to whom you are speaking;2) the RELATIONSHIP between you and the person;3) your own INTEGRITY- your need to care for yourself;4) the HIGHER PURPOSE the two of you both honor and serve.
"I need to tell you something that is very difficult for me to say. I realize that it may feel hurtful or critical or make you feel uncomfortable, and I really don't want that to happen but I need to say it. I also know that it may harm our relationship...a relationship that I enjoy and value but again I need to say it, because I don't know how to not say it and be honest with myself; or not say it and be true to the reason we're here together in the first place. I need to speak out for us both to do right by ourselves and our mission. Is it ok if I tell you?"